I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
