I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
