Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
