Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
