i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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