Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
