Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
