I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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