can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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