the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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