1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize