My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
