I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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