Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
