I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize