Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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