Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
