Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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