I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there was a trapeze. enough said
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
