I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
