I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Randomize
