He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
