is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
