well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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