about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
