You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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