he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize