remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
