I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
