# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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