You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
