I could make wine with my vomit
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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