Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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