you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize