i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
