You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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