I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There r osticjed everywhere
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
