I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can't turn off my feet"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
