my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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