she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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