cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
