He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They took my balls.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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