I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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