dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I need moral support for this bender
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
