quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
