Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
