You really coming over, don't trick.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
