just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
