My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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