I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
