D3 body, D1 cock
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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