I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize