How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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