508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
