I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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