I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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