Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
