I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
someone owes me an orgasm
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
