Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
