fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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