Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
