My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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