Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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