sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
