I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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