it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
